The Huntress Talks

I was looking high and low for you. I tried to remember the last time I saw you. It took me awhile but I finally put my finger on it. So I tried to retrace my steps from that last encounter. Its no wonder why I lost you along the way. With every step forward it was like I was knocked out or knocked down. But what choice did I have but to keep getting up and taking another step forward. When I least expected it, I looked in the mirror and there you were. Like an old familiar friend with a new hairstyle and a few more lines on your face that didnt make you look older, just more experienced. I reached my arms out to embrace you! I missed you so much and all I wanted was to hold on to you forever. But I made the mistake of blinking and you've gone away again......

This summer while living the grand life in Italy, we'd always shop at the Euro store(very classy, I know). The Euro store is like the 99cents store to us. Hey man, we were poor Jr. College students just trying to survive in a foreign country. :) We ate constantly there. We did a lot of walking so our appetites and metabolisms were both running wild. If you know me, you know that I LOVE salty foods!! I can go years without chocolate but I HAVE to have my salt. I found some wonderful cheeto -like snacks at the euro store and they were heavenly!! I'm not sure if they were white cheddar or mozzarella flavored but they were HEAVENLY!!! I had some almost everyday that I was there. I even bought some on my last day there and brought them home with me. When I ate my last bag, I was sad because I knew I'd never have them again. Today I went shopping at Walmart and I saw Mozzarella cheetos !!! The warm wonderful memories of my cheese shock came flooding back to me. I remember si...

I washed my car and it looks worse than before. How is that possible?? Can you imagine if we showered and came out smelling worse than before we went in?? Its just like when I try to clean my room and I end up making a bigger mess or when I try to work out but end up eating so much more crap cuz I get soo hungry after. Maybe I should just stop trying to do anything. No more car washes, showers, cleaning, exercising, dieting. Just be......ya never mind!! I'm gonna go shower now!

I used to hate to cry. I always thought it was a sign of weakness. My family used to pick on me as a kid and they would make my tears into a game. One sibling would say, “I bet you I can make Linda cry by the time you count to ten!” and they would take some horrible jabs at me. It’s no wonder why I had such a low self-esteem growing up. As I started to get older, I vowed to never cry in front of anyone again. It took a few years of practice but I finally got it down. I learned to distance myself from my family and grow some thick skin around others. Even now when my siblings call me the cryer I have to remind them, “when was the last time you saw me cry??” and they shut up quickly. A couple of years ago, I backslid on the crying. I fell in love (or so I thought at the time) and was hurt more than words can express. The tears came and I thought they would never stop flowing. I hated it! I hated myself. I thought I was damaged beyond repair and found it hard to breathe at times. When ...

It is dark again. I close my eyes and see your face. I want for nothing more than to just be near you all the time. I find you often at night. In slumber, you are mine and nobody else’s. I take you in my arms and your face changes. When my hand brushes your cheek, your eyes open and you see me in true light. My flaws never frighten you and you take me unconditionally. The longer we talk, the more complete I become. But in one swift moment, I open my eyes and you are gone. This pain is familiar; this longing I feel. She’s been with me since birth and we’ve even become great friends. She’s with me in the darkness and never leaves me lonely. I reach for you and instead it is she who embraces me. I’ve learned to accept her as a part of me. There are times when I try to leave her in my past. I move forward to try to stand alone. But it never fails. As I trip over the broken pieces of my heart, it is always She who catches me. She reminds me that she’s not a stranger and we hold hands as ...